Hot sauce, pickles, and writers

Yesterday, a girl about 2 years old sitting next to me at a Mexican restaurant dipped a chip into the hot sauce and took a bite. Her eyes lit up like large olives, she raised her hands above her head, and froze; taking the experience in. We couldn’t tell if she was about to scream, or take another bite. She took another bite. It reminded me of an incident I’d seen years ago when a similar young kid took a bite out of a dill pickle. You could swear that tears were about to burst from her eyes. When the look of pain left her face, she took another bite.

That’s an outline for successful writing. Commercial, saleable writing MUST pop, zing, sting, irritate, excite, provoke, and otherwise make us happy, sad, mad or glad. God even agrees. He’s quoted as saying he’d wish we were either hot or cold in our belief – those that are lukewarm get spewed out of His mouth. Yikes. We don’t want that kind of writing.

Sol Saks wasn’t God (otherwise he wouldn’t be dead, bless his soul) but I was reading something by him the other day where he said you can’t go too far in making comedy zany. It has to be over the top to be effective. I’ll add to that. To catch the attention of readers today, you have to push the limits in one way or the other – either your writing has to flow better than a poem by Robert Frost, your plot design has to rival the eye-catching architecture of Frank Lloyd Wright, the rhythm of your phraseology has to engage the soul like a Beatle’s song, your scenes have to challenge the mind’s eye like a Picasso painting, or your story has to frighten the reader with the tension of an Alfred Hitchcock movie scene.

Face it, there are new hundreds of thousands of books, stories, ebooks, and the like available to the public today. What catches the reader’s imagination? What makes them cringe, laugh, or pucker at what they read – then go back for more? That’s what we as writer have to strive to achieve. Set yourself free. Go over the top. Let the creative juices flow.

Please see my latest ebook, Takeover: A Writer's Nightmare

5 Writing Gotchas

5 Writing Gotchas

If you want to improve your writing skills, attend a critique session. This is where a writer reads his (or her) work. It is verbally then critiqued by professional/published writers. Everyone in attendance benefits, not just the reader. It is an eye opening experience for some writers and for others it confirms what works and what doesn’t.

In the last few critique sessions I attended I saw a pattern of gotchas that a number of writers, included me, experience from time to time. Here’s my interpretation of five of these writing blunders:

One: Avoid ‘was.’ I attended a workshop led by editors last year and one of them talked about how many submissions crossed her desk each week. She could never read them all, so she developed a read/pass criteria to help speed up her work. She looked at the first page of each submission and saw how many times the word “was” appeared. If the page included more than one or two she passed on that piece and tossed it into the rejection pile. One of our critique panel members told us about early story she’d written. An editor who passed on it told her to count the number of times she used “was.” On the first 10 pages she’d used “was” more than 100 times. She rewrote the piece using “was” only twice. It vastly improved the story. What’s the problem? The word which must not be used makes your writing passive. Passive writing is not as immediate or exciting as active writing. “Was” is not the only culprit, but I challenge you to take out a piece you’ve recently written and count the number of uses of that word. Rewrite your piece without the offending word and see how it improves your work. (By the way, I had to struggle to write this paragraph without any use of the blighted word.)

Two: Watch your format. Another criteria editors use to quickly reject your work is the way the words look on the page. Before submitting anything, look at a publisher’s style guidelines and follow them. Usually, you’ll want your work to be double spaced with 1 inch margins. Use Times Roman or Courier font. Your printing should be clean and dark – always black on write paper. Some agents I’ve used insist on bright white paper, 24 pound. If you learned to type using a typewriter, you must forget some things. For example, don’t use a double dash - - to create a strong break in a sentence. Use an em-dash—(press Alt-Ctrl and the minus sign on the numeric keypad.) Also, don’t put two spaces after a period at the end of a sentence. If your typing teacher taught you to do it, forget it. It’s old hat. There are too many format issues to talk about here — check out the Chicago Manual of Style or other resources to make sure you’re not making any boo-boos that will put your work into the rejection pile.

Three: Watch for repeating words. Writers tend to get stuck on the same words over and over again. I have to constantly rewrite paragraphs to avoid this blunder. Enough said.

Four: Get to the point. If you’re telling a story, writing a how-to book, or composing a letter, make some point that will capture and keep your reader’s interest. Even if you’re creating a scene where the setting is important, don’t spend too much time describing the landscape, warehouse, toad-stool or whatever without injecting some action to keep the reader’s interest. Readers (maybe today more than ever) are impatient.

Five: Read your work out loud. We had a couple of readers in the critique group who stood up and “read” their piece—but what they read differently significantly from what appeared on the printed page. As they read, they rewrote in their mind, usually making a sentence clearer or more active. The panel members recommend that writer read his work out loud before finalizing it. Hey suggested that he record his reading, and play it back—and see what changed. Do this with your own writing. You might be surprised at how verbalizing your work can help you improve the flow and voice of your story.

There you have it—five things to help improve your (and my) writing.

Create an Idea File

Create an idea file. Its an essential tool for every writer. In the olden days writers used to have a little box – a shoe box worked well. The purpose of this little gem of a file was to collect information that popped into your little pea brain -- scribbled on a scrap of paper.

Every writer should have an idea file. (This means you.) Nowadays the file tends to be electronic rather than a box (although either will work.)

Collect anything that tickles your ear or strikes your fancy -- ideas, phrases, word plays, names of people, situations, snippets of conversations, etc.

The thing is – when you’re writing you can’t remember every little turn of a phrase that’s gone through your mind over that last umpteen years. When you’re in a bind and searching for a character or a phrase or an occurrence, shuffle through your idea file and see what comes up. You might just have a Eureka! moment that turns your ho-hum scene into a show stopper.

This is not cheating! This is how many, many writers make their writing seem fresh, pithy and witty.

For example, one day I got into a mood to collect funny names for people. I’m sharing these names with you not because they are great. In fact, they are somewhat stupid. But, they illustrate what I’m talking about. I cut and pasted this info directly from my “ideas” file. Laugh if you wish, but if you are serious writer you MUST play with words. You MUST come up with ideas and write them down no matter how stupid they sound at the moment. Don’t worry about complete sentences or grammar – these are NOTES – scribbles of information. Get loose. Okay, hold your breath – here are my stupid notes on types of people and their names:

Paige Tern – a bookworm

Particular Paula –Wipe the mustard off your lip. Stand up straight,

Lunatic Larry - A high maintenance person always griping about everything. Nothing is good, nothing meets his standards

Diane the Drama Queen – She is staging her own drama with you as the supporting cast

Jennie – The Gen-Xer -- It’s about me, me, me. Selfish.

Lucius - Quiet schemer, turns people against one another

Loud-mouthed Lyndon– Talks too loudly. Talks incessantly. Says embarrassing things.

Eavesdropping Earl – Has to know everything about everyone – salary, love life, etc.

Ditsy Dolly – Head up in the cloud, full of psychobabble

Freddy Friend – Jovial friend who is always borrowing things, eating your food, he peeves you but you can’t help but liking him.

Military Max – Spit and polish, by the rules

Okay, that’s enough. You get the idea? Here’s the plan. Have a few post-it notes in your wallet or purse and a stack beside your bed. If you’re high-tech get one of those little digital recorders. Then, when an idea strikes, capture it, and put in into your own personal idea file. And don’t just do it this next week – do it for many years to come. Believe me, it will come in handy later.

Playing with Story

Playing with Story. The process of creating stories fascinates me -- not that I am a master (yet.)

If you're a writer, you should play around with the story process -- toss it around in your mind -- notice how a seven year old tells the story of how she got stung by a bee. As you're sitting in a Taco Bell (or some other public place) listen to stories around you. Why do some interenet email stories get forwarded to a million people and some are flops?

What makes a story work? What makes one unforgetable. It's something every writer must know to be a good communicator. Think about it... you probably remember some story someone told you 10, 15 or 20 years ago, and you can tell it with some accuracy. There are other stories you heard yesterday you can hardly recall. What's the difference? What made one memorable and one forgetable?

I saw someone changing a tire recently and thought -- how is writing like changing a tire? Let's play around with that thought...

You're driving down a country road. It’s a normal day. You're dealing with your everyday phobias and anxieties. You wish things were better or different, but there's not so much to do anything about it.

Compare that to: It’s a dusty day in Kansas. A young girl has the normal teenage angst about life – its boring. There must be something more to life. But there is no escape from the Kansas farm.

Suddenly you come to a rough spot in the road. You drive over a big pothole and your back wheel goes ker-thump as it hits the hole hard. You hear a loud pop that rattles your car and causes you to lose control. You panic and swerve into the oncoming traffic.

Compare that to: The Kansas weather starts kicking up. The wind is blowing – harder and harder. The sky turns a yucky green and in the distance the funnel of a tornado can be seen. It gets larger and larger – its coming your way! Everyone scrambles for the storm shelter. Where is the dog, Toto? The girl rushes back into the house to get the dog then the tornado hits. She’s thrown this way and that. It looks bad for her.

That’s part one – some call it the inciting incident or hook – it’s the thing that gets the story rolling. Or in the case of a flat tire, stops the car in its track. Often, that’s the easiest part of the story.

Now what do you do?

Your pleasant drive was interrupted. You get out of the car and see that you have a flat. You’re in the middle of nowhere and you see wolves peeking at you from nearby bushes. You’ve got to solve this problem or you’re the main course for dinner tonight. You get out the jack and put it under the car. If its like one of the old fashioned jacks it has a long handle that you push down to ratchet up the jack.

With each push down on the handle, the car inches up. That’s the middle of your story. It's a series of events that are like that handle on the jack. The emotions, hopes, and expectations go up and down with each push of the jack handle. As each scene goes from hope (up) to crisis (down) the jack (tension) inches up. Up and down each scene goes – giving hope, taking it away. Giving hope, taking it away.

All the time the tension is mounting.

Compare to: Dorothy is in Oz. Her life in Kansas is interrupted. She’s presented with a way to solve the problem – go to see the Wizard. Like the jacking up of the car, she must go step by step (with the help of friends) but on her journey she experiences a series of hope and failures. Each up and down of hope and failure seems to make things worse. Tension mounts with each little scene. Will she ever be able to get to her goal?

Up and down the jack goes as the car rises. The wolves are licking their chops. Finally, the tire comes off of the pavement and you can now put on the spare. But at the last minute you can’t get a lug nut to loosen. The wolves start inching toward you. You almost panic and run – but then they will surely attack. You remember that you have some WD-40 in the trunk – you get it and spray the lug nut like crazy. Then, using all your strength you jump up onto the lug wrench and the nut loosens. Success! You take off the old wheel and put on the spare. With the flick of a knob the jack descends much faster than it went up. You throw the jack into the trunk as the wolves descend, but you jump into the car and you’re protected.

The wolves must get dinner someplace else and you continue on your journey. You were not eaten by the wolves; but perhaps you are a wiser driver now and will watch out for potholes.

Compare to: Finally, the Dorothy makes it to her goal – to get the Wizard to send her home. But as he prepares to take her home, the balloon is launched prematurely and it seems all hope for her is lost. Then the good witch gives her an alternate way to get home – using the ruby slippers. She returns to Kansas. Nothing much has changed there, but Dorothy is wiser and knows more about life and love than she ever did before.

Here's how I look at a story -- the beginning is a sudden interruption of the norm, the middle is a ratcheting up of tension to a point where it looks as if all hope is lost and the solution comes quickly and wraps up the story.

Next time you’re fashioning a story – think about changing a tire. It might help put all of the pieces are in place to make your adventure more exciting and memorable.

Getting Published: The bald truth

Getting Published: The bald truth: I have no magic formula for getting your work published, but I do have a few suggestions.

Here are a few bald truths from our local writers group (The Dallas Area Writers Group or DAWG for short) that meets every month. Typically, each month an experienced writer tells us about his or her writing experience. There are a few common themes that run through these talks so I thought it would be worthwhile to ponder them in today’s blog.

One of our speakers (James Gaskin) told a story of how he answers the question “How long did it take you to write that article?” with an answer something like – “It took two hours and twenty years.” It took two hours to write the article and twenty years worth of experience to know how and what to write.

So my first worthwhile point is this – read, study and learn.

Virtually every writer I know is also a reader and a perennial student. (If not, make sure you have a good day job.) The fact that you are reading this blog probably means that you read and you're seeking to learn. Good job. Keep it up.

Point two: Learn by doing. Most writers don't make it big on their first submission, or twenty-first or fifty-first submission. It takes most people a while to break through the ice. They learned the writing craft by doing – they submitt query letters – they learn from rejection letters – they learn from other writers, from books, from conferences. On the other hand, I know of wannabe writers who keep mulling over the same short story for five years and never submit anything. There is very little chance they will ever be published.

Point three: Peresistence. Writers need persistence. I believe that almost anyone with a reasonable grasp of the English language can get published if they persist. By being persistent I don’t mean writing one thing and keep trying to sell it. Write several books, a dozen articles, or a hundred poems. Then maybe one of them will become golden. Look at the success of song writers like Irving Berlin and Fanny J. Crosby – did you know that each of them wrote hundreds of songs that never “made it?” And even in their prime they write many songs that never made it. A writer is a writer of many things – not just one story. If you only have one story, your best bet may be to get a ghost writer to write it for you – and pay them well.

Point four: Treat writing as a business as well as an art: Writers who make a living writing know that writing is a business. The product is creative, but it is disseminated (generally) through a money grubbing enterprise (i.e. a big corporation who runs a publishing house.) Most publishers think about selling writing like selling a box of soap. They want soap that sells. They’re not interested in last year’s type of soap. They want the new soap. Writers must know the current and future trends in the publishing world to be successful. Most of the books I had published ten years ago wouldn’t get off the ground today – the world has moved on. A smart writer anticipates change in culture and can read the future – or at least keep up enough with trends enough to know what publishers think the future will hold.

Point five: Be focused. Generalists are a hard sell. Publishers, editors and agents want focused writers. They want a writer who will devote heart and soul to a particular genre. This is hard for many writers (like myself) who are polymaths. We’re interested in too many things. But publishers want writers who can build a career. They want a sci-fi writer to write sci-fi. Not romance. Not a mystery. Sci-fi. Only Sci-fi. In fact, I know a pretty successful sci-fi writer who had several novels published but felt the calling to do another type of novel. To make a long story short, she lost her publisher and had to pretty much start from scratch on building another writing career. Pick an area of writing that you like and stay focused.

Those are the bald facts. These are a few of the tips I hear mentioned over and over again when an experienced writer talks to our group – be an expert on a subject – be persistent in what you are trying to do – know what the publisher wants – and stay focused in your area of expertise.